Vague Attempts at dieting


March 30, 2013 by kholzhauer

So, not only do I snark about what other people wear, make vague attempts to make my bed without getting lost in my duvet cover, and pole dance like a champ, not a stripper, but I cook. Actually, I cook pretty damn well. It’s what I did professionally before switching over to writing, and it’s what I love to do when I’m stressed.  There’s nothing like breaking out knives, fire, and giant hunks of meat to just melt the stress away.

…yes, I know. That could read as dirty. So sue me.  Actually, don’t. I have NO money right now. . .

Anyway, I can cook. And I love to cook delicious things, especially unhealthy delicious things, which makes dieting a little hard. But as I mentioned in a previous post, a largely desk job combined with the cooking shows I worked on helped with some unwanted weight gain. So, as I transition from that job to a new one, I’m doing my best to transition to healthy eating.

Now, I’m not going to get on a high horse for any particular diet. I don’t eat vegetarian, vegan, gluten free, paleo, or any of that crap. When I need to lose weight (and let’s face it, I’ve got about 20 pounds that need to vanish) I cut calories, up vegetables, and make an effort to move more. My general “diet” consists of 1300-1600 calories per day. I try to keep meals balanced.

Beyond that, I eat what I want. Sometimes (gasp) I drink alcohol. I still like to eat french fries,  ice cream, steak, and dessert, but I don’t see that as a problem, as long as I balance it out. It seems that here in LA, people get especially uppity about diets. The fact that I actually enjoy foods with meat, gluten, carbs, and foods that cavemen didn’t eat always seems to piss off at least 3 people in grocery store checkout lines. But seriously, fuck em all. I’m not cooking them dinner.

ImageBecause I’m fun, and because everyone likes pictures, Here’s some of the  stuff I’ve eaten this week. Yes, I’m cherry picking the healthy stuff that looks impressive. We’re just going to pretend that there wasn’t a day last week where my lunch consisted of a fruit tart and a large coffee.

This meal was pretty straight forward. I had some leftover rice and veggies in the fridge, so I made fried rice with peas, mushrooms, onions, zucchini, asparagus  and a tiny bit of rapidly browning avocado. I slapped an egg on that bitch too, because I love fried eggs with rice. The meal was filling, delicious, and not too heavy, given that 2/3 of the stuff in the bowl was vegetable based. Yes, there were carbs, OMG high cholesterol eggs, and fatty avocados in there. And yes, I washed it down with a diet coke.  And you know what? I’m not ashamed. It filled me up and kept me going through a particularly grueling pole workout.


This meal was huge. I cooked too much. What you don’t see in the picture is that I ate half of it and then had the other half for lunch the following day. So what is it?

Well, there’s a salad with tomatoes, plums and almonds. There’s a whopping hunk of seared albacore under caramelized onions. Some rice, some roasted asparagus, a touch of delicious avocado (I normally go through about 1 avocado a week.) The stuff on the big plate lasted 2 meals and tasted delicious. I killed the salad right after this photo was taken.

Speaking of salads, Sometimes I eat salad for lunch. Because I’m a woman and I live in LA and that’s what we do. Actually, because it’s easy. And because I actually like vegetables. And because you can slap damn near anything on a salad and it’ll work. Egg? Put it on the salad. Leftover quinoa, slap it over some lettuce. I’m not posting a picture of my salad lunches largely because they’re not the prettiest (not that anything I’ve posted is.) And because this week I’ve been using some homemade ranch dressing (made with yogurt for the healthy) that looks a little inappropriate in photos. It’s a dinner plate, kids, not the aftermath of a porno. I don’t care how it looks.

ImageOf course, not everything I’ve cooked is 100 percent healthy. Let’s be real here. My biggest aspiration in life isn’t to be a size 2 lifestyle blogger who shops only at anthropologie and lives on kale and juice cleanses.  I eat real food, like this.

Sweet pea and asparagus risotto, crispy skinned roast chicken. In retrospect, this isn’t that bad. Rich in veggies, good protein, and none of the french fries/bacon/burgers/ beer involved in last night’s dinner. It was delicious, it kept the  boyfriend happy, and it came together really quickly. Seriously folks, if you can make a solid risotto and a roast chicken, you’re set for life. It’s gluten free, the chicken is even paleo, the risotto is vegetarian, and who invites vegans over anyway? I have vegan family members and love them dearly, but they’re hard to cook for sometimes.

Anyway, that’s healthy diet in a nutshell. Here’s a typical day’s meal plan lately. Not yesterday, since that’s when I ate a fruit tart and a giant burger, but a regular day.

Breakfast: Kasha (hot buckwheat cereal) with raisins, almonds, a touch of honey, and a touch of butter.

Snack: 100 calorie mini chobani

Lunch: Salad with hard boiled eggs, leftover rice/quinoa, cucumbers, tomatoes, arugula, pears, onion. Homemade questionable looking but delicious ranch.

Snack: Some piece of fruit and a small handful of pretzel nuggets.

Dinner: Chicken breast, pasta with pesto, asparagus, peas, caramelized onions. Side salad.

Dessert: ice cream. The boyfriend and I normally split a scoop. We’re adorable that way. Actually, no. I get really aggressive about sharing and freak out if he gets more than me, especially if it’s a delicious flavor.


3 thoughts on “Vague Attempts at dieting

  1. Heather West says:

    Cook for me! I like that you bring a down to earth realism to your diet strategy. Thank you for sharing. xoxo Heather West

  2. […] in general, with a slight empahsis on pole, but also moments of road rage, fashion rage, food and other stuff. Pole wise I focus on personal goals and frustrations and a bit on fashion, but […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: